Who have you started to look like that you judge yourself for?

Who have you started to look like that you judge yourself for?

Is it a parent, a relative, or a sibling?

Do you judge yourself for looking like them and don’t seem to be able to change it?

Have you ever wondered why some people find it so easy to lose weight while other’s don’t?

Have you ever wondered why diets and body sculpting programs do not work for you?

If this is you, then read on.

Your body is an expression of lot of things. The shape and size you are, is not always because of what you eat, or because of some disease you have. It is way more complex and intricate than that, that normal weight loss programs are not capable of telling you about.

Your body is a reflection of your relationships, your past, the trauma or the abuse you have gone through, and many more things, which have become a part of your subconscious programming. No wonder diets and exercises don’t work for you, or you never seem to be able to sustain the change.

What I am suggesting to you is not a one stop solution or a magic pill. It is a deep transformation that will change the way you interact with your body, see your body.

To share a personal experience, I started a weight loss diet with a weight management consultant.  I am not a person who does very well with schedules, and restrictions. To her credit, my consultant is a very flexible person and took my lifestyle, food preferences into account. She also was aware that I would fight her tooth and nail in ‘following’ a diet. Thankfully she is not on my social media accounts, for which I can come clean that I do not follow the diet.

Having said that, listening to her, has made me realise how much I enjoy the foods I never thought I will enjoy. I was a person who could never resist fried food, for instance. Last night when I was out with a friend, for the first time in my life, I did not reach for the fried stuff.

I, in fact told the restaurant that I found parts of the food too greasy.

This could have never been me. I am always the one to reach for the fruitiest cocktail, and fried oily things. Last night I surprised myself. I surprised myself in finding out that I am not the person I thought I was.

I do enjoy the blend of flavours, I do love the hedonism of food, I do like the lightness in my body after a great meal.

I have stopped eating to feel good. I have stopped making food about feeling satisfied. Food is not what will give me what I cannot be for myself.

Does this sound dangerously similar to your relationships?

I did not know about my relationship with food, till I was willing to divorce many aspects of it, that I did not even know I was doing.

Food is just one aspect. There is movement, sex, clothes we wear, our image of ourselves; the list goes on and on.

What if deep transformation begins with a degree of vulnerability and kindness for yourself. Even if you are the only one capable of being it.

Dr. Anindita Chakraborty is a physician with years of experience in clinical practice. She is now a transformation coach who uses her medical knowledge and experience with different transformation techniques to guide her clients through deep, sustainable and pragmatic transformation.

What if you are capable of delivering what is required in your relationship without having to lose yourself?

Most of us in a relationship have experienced what it is to lose yourself, that you do not matter anymore. Your interests, well being, desires are no longer a part of the equation, and you seem to be doing everything for the other.

This is a reality for many people. This is also a repeating pattern for many people. This is also a reason why a lot of people avoid being in a relationship, because they do not desire to lose themselves.

Does this resonate with you?

What if you are not alone and what if you are not wrong?

The first thing to acknowledge is that we live in a world which doesn’t encourage conscious and empathic relationships.

We are taught to either control or be controlled. We are taught to compromise or leave. We are taught to either give ourselves up for another and the way to save ourselves, is only if we are willing to be on the defensive fighting mode always.

Most relationships are about maintaining the fight and not about creating together.

What if this does not have to be your reality?

Do you know what is the core lie that you have bought that keeps you from being what it takes to have a great relationship?

The lie is that things can be taken away from you.

That your power can be taken away from you.

That someone can control you.

The lie is that it is all happening to you and you have no say or power to change it.

So the most reactive reaction you can be is to always defend yourself.

Is it ever possible that you create anything with anyone if you are on the defence always?

Countries, governments, families, individuals ; no one can create anything if they are constantly on the fight and flight mode.

It is possible to be in a relationship, without losing yourself, without giving yourself up and without having to be at the effect of abuse and trauma.

This takes a deep understanding of yourself; what is creating the patterns of behaviour that does not let you have a harmonious relationship? What are the patterns of behaviour that you are relating that you learnt from your family? What are the triggers of your flight or fight mode?

What is being the Voice?

So often, we misidentify the use of our voice. We grow up believing that unless we are screaming, unless we are shouting, unless we are forcing our way through, we do not truly have a voice. But what if this is a misconception we inherited rather than a truth?

Perhaps it came from the echo of someone overbearing, someone whose voice filled every space with weight and demand, and we decided we would never allow ourselves to become that.

Perhaps it came from the silence of someone suppressed, hushed into invisibility, and we vowed we would never allow ourselves to become that either. In our attempts to avoid both extremes, we abandoned the most precious thing of all: the freedom of choice.

Choice allows us to be silent when silence creates more.

Choice allows us to be loud when loudness is what is required.

Choice allows us to speak, not from force or volume, but from presence—the presence of being the source of the reality we desire.

To be the source means to no longer wait for others to tell us what is right, no longer shape ourselves to fit the contours of what someone else desires us to be, no longer keep looking back for reassurance that someone is still there to catch us if we fall.

To be the source means we refuse to be diminished by lies, however sweetly they are wrapped.

If we are not choosing this, then we are only recycling the realities of our parents, our partners, our friends—realities dressed in the thin icing of palatability, but never our own creation.

And what if you were never here to be a carefully prepared, digestible piece of cake? What if you were here to be the storm that turns the air electric, the wind that alters landscapes, the force of change that refuses to be contained?

Never Thought I’d Leave the ICU.

For most of my adult life, I was a doctor. An anesthesiologist. An ICU specialist. I was good at what I did. I thrived in the intensity, the urgency, the responsibility of holding lives in my hands.

But somewhere between the ventilators, the code blues, and the long nights, a quiet question began to whisper inside me:
“Is this all there is to healing?”

I saw people survive, but not always live.

I saw pain that medicine couldn’t explain.

I saw bodies that were patched up but not at peace.

And I saw myself—exhausted, accomplished, but strangely disconnected from something I couldn’t yet name.

That question never went away. It grew louder. And eventually, I listened.

It was extremely uncomfortable for me. For the first time I was focusing on myself. What I wanted. What I knew was true.

I stopped limiting myself to textbooks and journals.

I started asking my patient what they knew about themselves, their bodies, and their path to recovery.

I stepped into a world that was unfamiliar and, honestly, uncomfortable at first.

It took a lot of rewiring of my own self and also my believes.

I did not know how to prioritise myself.

I did not know how to live without the adrenaline rush and the constant demands of my profession, that I was so willing to meet.

I started to turn towards looking at things energetically. Asking questions like what is actually true here.

I started asking questions about consciousness. Both at an universal and at the individual level.

I found Access Consciousness. It said that Consciousness included everything and judged nothing.

I never thought that was possible. To not judge and be judged.

I started listening not just with a stethoscope, but with presence. Engaging my whole being and body. Engaging with another, in totatlity.

This didn’t look like medicine. And it felt like healing.

Now, I work with people in a completely different way.

I don’t fix. I don’t rescue. I don’t diagnose.

I hold space. I ask questions. I witness their bodies speaking what words often can’t.

The transition wasn’t easy.

I grieved the identity I had built. I lost friends, associations. And I learnt to let go with gratitude.

With the knowing that I did not need identity anymore.

I faced skepticism, both outside and within.

But I also found freedom. Joy. Truth.

This isn’t the path I thought I’d take.

But it’s the one that finally feels like mine.