What if you are capable of delivering what is required in your relationship without having to lose yourself?

Most of us in a relationship have experienced what it is to lose yourself, that you do not matter anymore. Your interests, well being, desires are no longer a part of the equation, and you seem to be doing everything for the other.

This is a reality for many people. This is also a repeating pattern for many people. This is also a reason why a lot of people avoid being in a relationship, because they do not desire to lose themselves.

Does this resonate with you?

What if you are not alone and what if you are not wrong?

The first thing to acknowledge is that we live in a world which doesn’t encourage conscious and empathic relationships.

We are taught to either control or be controlled. We are taught to compromise or leave. We are taught to either give ourselves up for another and the way to save ourselves, is only if we are willing to be on the defensive fighting mode always.

Most relationships are about maintaining the fight and not about creating together.

What if this does not have to be your reality?

Do you know what is the core lie that you have bought that keeps you from being what it takes to have a great relationship?

The lie is that things can be taken away from you.

That your power can be taken away from you.

That someone can control you.

The lie is that it is all happening to you and you have no say or power to change it.

So the most reactive reaction you can be is to always defend yourself.

Is it ever possible that you create anything with anyone if you are on the defence always?

Countries, governments, families, individuals ; no one can create anything if they are constantly on the fight and flight mode.

It is possible to be in a relationship, without losing yourself, without giving yourself up and without having to be at the effect of abuse and trauma.

This takes a deep understanding of yourself; what is creating the patterns of behaviour that does not let you have a harmonious relationship? What are the patterns of behaviour that you are relating that you learnt from your family? What are the triggers of your flight or fight mode?